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5 Iron
#1
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a golf 5 iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
 
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. ??
"Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.
"We went to look for it and while I was looking around, I noticed one of the cows lazing nearby had something white stuck out of its arse.
 
"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's arse.
That's when I made my fatal mistake Doc."
 
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
 
"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"
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